From the Archives: 10 Ways to Level up your Confidence

The second From the Archives Friday: we are re-visiting a post swap from Alyssa on confidence. Self motivation comes from within, from pushing past that mental chatter and choosing what is getting you closer to your dreams.

A post swap by Alyssa!

What makes her so sure of herself? You know her. The girl that walks into a room and lights it up with her presence. She speaks with ease, confident in what she is saying and sure of her power.

She has everything she wants and is chasing her dreams. Unfazed by setbacks and poor outcomes she overcomes difficult times with grace and forgiveness. 

She’s never too hard on herself but pushes through distractions and negativity and comes out the other side stronger, smarter and better.

I’m sure you have a picture of a person in your head but what I’m really trying to do is get you to envision yourself as this girl. Because that’s exactly who you are, you just haven’t realized it yet. 

Don’t worry, though. I’m here to guide you.

Photo by Julia M Cameron on Pexels.com

Confidence can be learned.

Confidence is one of the most essential traits for any successful person to possess. But, what if I told you that confidence isn’t really a trait at all, rather a daily habit. 

I know, mind blowing!

So instead of waiting impatiently for the day the universe decides to give you the confidence to ask for that promotion or kiss your crush you can CHOOSE to already have it. 

Making your dreams come true and true faith in yourself could now happen in a matter of weeks thanks to a few tweaks to your already perfect self. 

As with any other habit in order for it to be effective and stick you need to put the work in everyday. Showing up for yourself in this way can improve your life drastically and open doors you never even saw before. 

With that being said let’s get into 10 Ways to Level Up Your Confidence

  1. Showing up and being consistent. 

Being an active participant in your personal life and really putting in an effort will have major pay offs, not just in your relationships but also in your career, passions and projects. Make sure to follow through with plans and practice being more transparent with loved ones. 

  1. Get familiar with failure. 

Confident people don’t take failure personally. They choose to see failure as a learning lesson. Developing a thick skin for when things don’t go your way can help you bounce back when you’ve stumbled. Just keep crushing it!

  1. Body language.

Review your body language and what it says about you. Do you stand tall with your head held high or cower and make yourself physically inferior to others. Can you stand to make eye contact when speaking to someone? Are you an active listener or stuck in your head? Changing the way you present yourself will boost your confidence as well as make others perceive you as more confident.

Here’s Janine Driver breaking down how to read body language.
  1. Take notes and track your progress.

Brainstorm, list your wins and note your realizations. Acknowledging your accomplishments, big or small can build up your confidence in yourself over time. Track your progress by keeping a journal and dedicate it to your goals and progress. 

Record every win and set back, all your thoughts and ideas, processes and systems. Having this to look back on will improve your confidence because you will be able to actually see the mountains you are moving in your life.

  1. Community over competition. 

Confident people pay no mind to others’ opinions. They share their secrets and success with others and want to see their friends succeed as much as themselves. Keep watering your grass and don’t be concerned if others’ is greener.

  1. Set goals and challenge yourself.

Challenge yourself. Learn a new skill, go back to school, quit your job and start a business. Take yourself out of your box and expand your possibilities through challenges. Confident people are go getters with goals so set some SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) for yourself today!

  1. Fake it until you make it.

If the above tips aren’t working for you just do what I did for a long time. Wake up every day and pretend to be a confident person. Just do the thing you need to do to get you closer to your goals. Even if you feel silly on the inside make your outward appearance radiate confidence in all you do. Eventually it’ll just stick and you won’t even have to try. 

  1. Discard your negative bias and shift your mindset.

Do you feel limited? Overwhelmed, hopeless, dumb, unmotivated etc? These negative thoughts are a result of life experiences you have gone through and past pain not dealt with. How you choose to process and act on these negative life experiences makes up your overall state, or mindset. 

Once you let go of your negative bias you can begin to shift your mindset into that of a growth one. Instead of believing you are not good enough and playing that thought on repeat think of all the amazing qualities you possess. 

  1. Positive affirmations.

Affirmations can energize, and awaken lifelong desires and improve your relationships and even health. Some good ones to recite are:

I am confident in my abilities

I am talented and intelligent

I am free of worry and regret

I look forward to the future

Only I can do what I can do

Everyday I am growing and learning

Here’s a quick video to listen to as you brush your teeth, from Sunny
  1. Be authentic. 

Being free to be unapologetically yourself is the BIGGEST confidence habit out there. Releasing your fear and the pressure to please people will unlock the type of confidence that builds empires and changes lives.

A friendly reminder

Confidence ebbs and flows like any other energy. If you wake up one day feeling unconfident and unmotivated don’t let that tear down all the work you put in. This is a reminder that you are only human and not every day are you going to feel like a boss.

Confidence is a journey and not a destination but worthwhile in the end. You have the power and the ability to do what is necessary to live your best life!

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

Check out Alyssa’s blog for more!

Prep for a New Week

How do you prepare for a new week? I have found my week starts off with some expectancy and preparedness if I take the temperature on some key areas of my life over the weekend.

Last weeks spread: pink has been a theme lately

The four areas that I focus on are: This Week, To Do, Where’s My $ At? and Goal Check. Let me break that down a bit. Oh and those cute stencils on the page above? Amazon, of course, and only $10!

This Week

This section gives me a chance to forecast for the week ahead. I don’t get too complicated with the layout, sometimes it’s vertical and sometimes it’s horizontal. What counts is the moment to think about what events, appts, due dates and etc. are scheduled for the days ahead.

To Do

I’m a to do list kind of girl. I like checking boxes, and I like tracking progress. This section is a place to set some short term goals/tasks that will help me, my family or my professional development.

Where’s My $ At?

Honestly, much like keeping a food diary, tracking my spending has been a huge eye opener. I’ve been jotting down where each of my accounts are at, as often as I can. (Weekly, these days, although it started as a monthly task)

I’ve challenged myself to write down every spend this year. Somehow, knowing that I will have to write that Skip the Dishes lunch in my Expense Tracker helps me not hit that purchase button.

Goal Check

In an effort to trick myself/reward myself for putting in efforts toward my goals… this section is where I am setting a few short term goals that will help me gain ground on some of my bigger goals.

I’ve also set some tantalizing little rewards here now. If I move every day for 1/2 an hour, I get to buy that blouse of Depop. If I complete (3) Headway books, I can order that Laneige lip mask I have been eyeing up.

Just like that, I’ve checked in on my finances, my goals, my schedule and any tasks that need attention this week. It’s a simple one pager that makes me feel prepared for the upcoming 7 days.

What would you add to the page? Do you like this set up?

From the Archives: Anxiety Toolbox

Bell Let’s Talk Day is coming up Jan. 28th 2021. This article, written for my previous blog, outlines tools I use to calm and manage my anxiety symptoms. Maybe they will help you too.

On Bell Let’s Talk Day Bell will donate 5 cents towards mental health initiatives in Canada for every applicable text, call, tweet or TikTok video using #BellLetsTalk, as well as using the Snapchat filter and or Facebook frame.

Suddenly, you can’t catch your breath. It’s a very real squeezing of your rib cage. Alarmed, you feel your heartbeat rise. Your senses are on overdrive, trying to unearth the cause of this sudden fear. You’re dizzy with adrenaline. Sick with it. Like a terrible dream, the world continues around you in slow motion.

My experience with panic attacks.

August is the month I experienced panic attacks for the first time. Years ago now but the feeling is still so fresh. I was. Terrified. Terrified doesn’t even describe it. Terrified and exhausted. Heightened in awareness and numb.

And with the world on the edge of its seat, watching COVID, I’ve been stockpiling my toolbox. My anxiety toolbox.

I wanted to share some things that work for me. I also want to note that this post is in no way, a replacement for speaking with your doctor and or a psychologist professional. Panic attacks and panic disorder are treatable, and once I was able to recognize the way my body red flags for a panic attack, the better I got at heading them off.

Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. I’ve learned that taking care of myself is imperative to consistently show up. So. On with the tools I use, shall we?

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

Tools I Use:

Meditation

Simple Habit is an app I use almost daily. It’s free, with a premium option, with a large selection of guided meditations available on the free version.

I focus on staying present, and pausing to breath. My favourite guided meditation is a three step: relax the body, focus on the breath and listen to the sounds around you. There’s also Insight Timer, a similar app with similar features!

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Dr. Judd Brewer breaks down anxiety, from a scientific standpoint in this series on Simple Habit. I found it incredibly helpful. Click his name in this caption to hop over to Dr. Judd’s Youtube videos!

Speaking to a Professional

I meet with my psychologist monthly. It’s been a long relationship, and I am grateful for it. If you live in the province of Manitoba, there is currently a Virtual Therapy Program being offered.

You do not need to be referred by a doctor to use AbiltiCBT. You will be able to connect to a professional therapist trained to help you deal with: Pandemic challenges, the state of uncertainty, physical isolation, care for family and community members, information overload, stress management.https://www.gov.mb.ca/covid19/bewell/virtualtherapy.html

Although this program is for residents of Manitoba 16 and older, Kids Help Phone is available for those under 16, and Anxiety Canada is full to the brim with resources, information and finding help for those outside of MB.

Practicing Gratitude

I’ve been writing in my Five Minute Journal since the start of 2020. I just recently learned that the amazing folks at Intelligent Change are now offering the Five Minute Journal in APP form as well!

Here’s another Gratitude Journal option too!

Support System

Your people. The ones you can fart in front of – or at least, be real with. You know the ones? Go to them. Be vulnerable with them. Let them step up for you, and with a grateful heart – accept the help. It’s easier said than done, but I feel like my relationship with my true blue friends, my partner, and my family has grown stronger because of this.

Consumption Awareness

Remember, your news feeds, social feeds and notifications are curated by you. Prune the list sometimes, and be aware of what you’re putting in the ol’ mind. Turn off news notifications if you need. Hell, turn them all off. I’ve been consciously trying to complete my morning journal even before I pick up my phone in the morning. A habit I would like to build, and I feel like not consuming social media notifications, news updates and other various pings – starts me off in a better frame of mind.

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I like to save great little quotes like this one from doyouyoga – and scroll through them when I need a little boost.

Do you have go to tools for managing anxiety? Please leave them in the comments below! Thank you for reading – take good care!

From the Archives: Saturday Self-Care

Today’s share is meant to be a pretty little escape, and inspire you to light a candle, run a bath and put a face mask on.

*Disclaimer:

While my self care here, reflects a light and top layer level of beauty routines and serene moments in a bathtub – I recognize the importance of true self care.

The self development, growth and self awareness that is so valuable, especially in today’s day and age. What isn’t immediately talked about here, but isn’t closed for future discussion, is my journey with PTSD, seeing a therapist for many years, learning about my anxiety and depression, and finding tools to deal with both. As said, I want this forum to be an honest place for discussion, and will likely share my experiences and acquired tools in future posts.

Today’s share is meant to be a pretty little escape, and inspire you to light a candle, run a bath and put a face mask on. If that’s not your jam, I wish you a blissful moment of your own kind of self care. The activity or surroundings that make you take a real deep breath, and smile to yourself.

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My favourite escape moment, is an epsom salt bath & some face care.

Items shown here, and loved thoroughly:

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Straight out of the bath, I kept the Ultra Violet Brightening mask on until it was dry and tight feeling. I washed the mask off with warm water and a face cloth, and followed up with my favourite moisture renewing mask.
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Garnier Moisture Bomb has been my go to moisture giving mask for years.

Coming in an assortment of options, you can target your goal with your skin, simply by switching from the Mattifying Tea Tree mask to the Soothing Sheet mask and so on! Give the combo pack a go:

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A hairmask from a friend and my go to The Body Shop face creams rounded off my moisture treatmeant.

What do you do for an indulgent moment of me time? Is it a walk? A cup of tea and a book? Creating something? Leave a comment below and let me know!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

What’s on my desk

Working from home means that my desk is a hub for daily activity. I’ve begun doing my Five Minute Journal here with my first cup of coffee, as I wait for my computer to wake up.

At Home Mani ft NailditCanada

Have you heard of such a journal? It’s become a key part of my morning routine, allowing me to start my day with mindful gratitude and intention. Check them out at Intelligent Change.

The Five Minute Journal: Review After Using It for Five Years | Miriam  Ballesteros
Image from Mariam Ballestros
Chinese Money Plant from Freshcut Downtown

A couple years ago, I set up my work desk according to feng-shui recommendations. The results were calming. Everything seemed to just settle into place. The above plant is at home in the abundance corner of my at the office desk. She’s so pretty, don’t you think?

Work - SleepCompare
Image from sleepcompare.com

The home office is in a constant state of change. A couple months of home school for the kiddos, and balancing two professionals working from home presented challenges. We have all happily settled into one room (if you can believe it) and the recent set up has a lovely little plant stand to my left. The unit is perfect height for my happy lamp – something that my friends enduring Canadian Winters can understand, I am sure!

So, what’s on your desk? Tell me in the comments below, your favourite/indispensable desk features!