It’s true. I was addicted. The symptoms were all there. And like all addictions, I couldn’t and wouldn’t take a hard look at my actions.
Oh my, how did I rack up 3 and a half hours of scrolling time? What did I have to show for it? Check out that neat iOS feature, Apple friends:
The easiest way to see the impact of screen time, is to hand the device to children. They won’t want to give it back, they lose time in it, they become irritable and agitated after putting it down. The compulsion to check for notifications increases. You see the numbers and followers and “friends” come into focus as goals and worse.. value barometers, for these young souls.
We are all addicted to our own echo chambers.
Quote from video linked above.
Why are we parents telling kids to get off the devices? To go outside? Is it because it’s better for them? If so, why don’t we want better for ourselves? And isn’t it true that actions speak louder than words? So, by this logic we have to put our devices down first.
Have you seen the Netflix Documentary called The Social Dilemma? The second week of February, eight days after deleting my apps, my partner and I sat down to watch it. The drama part was a little cheesy. The facts drew us in however. Creators and experts from behind these mega apps come forth to tell you about the game. More sinister than we think, is the goal of the players on the other side of this social field.
Look into it for yourself. When you’re ready. The thing about making life changes, as far as I can tell, is that we need to be in a ready and willing place to make a change.
A little bit of fire, at the right time, can keep everything from burning to the ground.
I understand that social networking apps are a wonderful tool, and so I have come back to them after a few weeks off them completely. I’ve turned my notifications all off however. I’m going back with eyes open, and focussed on filling my time chasing goals. I’m exploring fun again too. A paint by numbers. A book I’ve been meaning to read. It feels good and I’m looking to keep it up.
How do you feel about social media? Why do you think these apps are “free”? What is the cost then? Surely the money, expertise, psychological hacks and time that is poured into these distractions, isn’t done free of charge. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
From getting set up to shipping out your first order. Here’s what I picked up along the way!
I set up my Depop account earlier this year, and it fell in line with my #nonewclothes2021 goal nicely.
What is it you say? It’s one of many second hand clothing sites/apps. Users upload photos of the items they want to pass on to new homes, posting the price and description along with shipping cost.
I did a Marie Kondo on my closet this year. The purge of clothing and accessories that I didn’t use or no longer sparked joy, left me feeling lighter. This is a whole blog post on its own so I’ll save it for another time. However. It was what happened after I purged the wardrobe, that brought me to Depop.
My first sale was Feb. 3rd, 2021. I had found gifts and a sweet pair of Kate Spade boots through this gem of an app. But it was the sale that thrilled me the most.
Here’s are some tips and pointers if you too want to set up a Depop account, based on my own experience!
Download the app and set up your profile.
Take well lit and clear photos of your article of clothing for sale.
Consider modelling the clothes, it’s easier for people to see how it fits/sits/flows.
Take a close up of any defects to ensure you’re being transparent about the state of the article of clothing.
Use descriptive words and utilize all those colour and style buttons!
Have great customer service, a stellar star rating might be what ultimately sways someone to buy from you.
Send off your item with care. I wrap mine in tissue paper and add a personalized note. I was on the receiving end of a personal note with my ‘Spade boots and it was genuinely heart warming!
Stay organized. I set up an excel sheet to keep track of what I have posted and it’s sale price. I’m tracking the posted date to see how each item performs. This way I can price adjust as I go.
Keep shipping prices in mind. You want to make a profit, right? Take a look at shipping costs for average packages around Canada and don’t undervalue your products.
My second sale was Feb. 4th, 2021. I had gone in the evening before to update my price because … I didn’t make a dime on the first sale! Nope. I had undervalued myself and paid more for shipping than what I got from the sale! Especially after the $1.25 PayPal processing fee. I learned the lessons and tweaked my pricing and shipping costs. I woke up to a sale.
Do you have any experience with second hand clothing sales? Have you tried Depop or Poshmark or gone with an in person option like Style Encore or Plato’s Closet?
I’ve had so many good experiences with Style Encore. A blog post on my closet refresh with them is coming soon!
What tips and tricks would you add to the list? I’m here for info sharing so leave me your hot takes in the comments below!
Feb. 1st 2021 I signed up for Brett Larkins Yoga Teacher Training Course. It was an inspired decision and she popped out of the woodwork for me.
I did my research mind you. Explored her website, the program itself, downloaded the brochure, looked up real people’s reviews.
Brett even has a video explaining how to vet your Yoga Teacher Training course. (Linked here.) The words she chose and the way she laid the course out encouraged me. She speaks my language. When I got the syllabus and each video had a little tick box beside it I knew… this was a course for me.
I’ve always loved yoga. I’ve dabbled here and there. Discovered Tara Stiles to start and then Yoga with Adrienne. My partner gifted me a hot yoga gift certificate for Christmas one year. Moda Yoga was a beautiful place. I loved the experience.
There was a video my partner and I saw, maybe from a Ted Talk, asking what you would do if you could do anything. If you were free from guilt and expectation. If you could release all history and obligation. What would you do? And for me. It’s yoga.
I wanted to be a teacher from a young age. I moved provinces just to attend U of W for their B. Ed. Program. I was quickly discouraged however. The department was overflowing. Jobs weren’t a reality upon graduation. Floating as a substitute would last years after graduating.
I dropped the dream. I had an opportunity to work a “real job” and so I stopped attending university. I didn’t give up learning. I pursued my industry designation and finally achieved that last year. I attended First Aid training and MB Safe training. I love to learn.
This course was therefore. A perfect fit. Things begin to click into place for me. Serendipitously, almost! 😉
So what is the YTT 200 exactly? It means that I’ll be putting in 200 hours of Yoga Teacher Training. From anatomy, to history, to correct pose names… I am diving in.
Here’s to a year of svadhyaya 🙏
In February my textbook arrived. I’m loving the lectures so far and discovered pose flash cards with the Sanskrit and English names on the back, at the back of the Anatomy Colouring book. They too, are colourable and highlight which muscles and joints are active in each pose.
May Update. I’ve attended my orientation week. It was nerve settling and nerve inducing all at once. I met people in my class who are calling in from around the world. It all feels more real and exciting!
I’m excited to share this journey. It’s been a rally of back and forth in my mind, whether I would share as I go or just focus on the course and share once I’ve learned. I concluded that I will never be “done” though. So why not share as I go? There won’t be a time that I stop learning and growing and expanding perspectives. So I would love to start the conversation now. Now is when yoga can happen after all. To be present allows you to experience more fully.
Eep! Thank you for joining me on this journey, for however long you are here for. You can follow along here, on my Instagram and more will come I’m sure. I’m bursting with ideas and I can’t wait to share. Easy does it.
Confucius says that everyone is born with two lives, the second one begins when you realize you only have one.
I’ve jumped two feet into living.
January 31st, 2021 marks a day that my mind changed. Something clicked. I felt sick with my choices. I couldn’t go back to living like this:
Drinking daily, not getting drunk daily, but the slow and consistent accumulation was haunting me
Burying myself in social media from the moment I got up to the moment I rolled over to sleep
Letting go of working out. Even yoga ceased to spark something in me and the mat stayed rolled up in the corner
I felt polluted. I felt heavy and icky and ashamed.
Self discipline isn’t punishment, self discipline is the highest form of self love.
My partner and I had a Sunday afternoon of deep talks. And some tears. Some realizations and some “playing it out”. Where were these actions going to take us?
Change begins with action. I deleted all social media. Guided by our own intuition, we dumped any alcohol we had in the house. It pinched the pocket for a moment, watching my boxed wine go down the kitchen sink.
I imagined a tub with my monthly supply of wine.
… I certainly could not continue like that.
I wish I could bring you into this clarity of mind that I found that afternoon. It was a painful look in the mirror, but it was also a crucial catalyst for change. I can describe it as slipping on a new prescription and wondering how the world could look so sharp.
I’ll explore how I am changing my relationship with social media in a separate blog post. I’m excited to share what I’ve learned! I’ve rejoined those apps, but with eyes open a little wider. (And with all notifications turned OFF.)
You have to let go of the things (and habits) that you don’t need, in order to make space for the things that you do.
Marie Kondo with an Esta twist.
Here’s to a new day. To gratitude. To living out my best, every day of my second life. I hope the same for you.
The second From the Archives Friday: we are re-visiting a post swap from Alyssa on confidence. Self motivation comes from within, from pushing past that mental chatter and choosing what is getting you closer to your dreams.
What makes her so sure of herself? You know her. The girl that walks into a room and lights it up with her presence. She speaks with ease, confident in what she is saying and sure of her power.
She has everything she wants and is chasing her dreams. Unfazed by setbacks and poor outcomes she overcomes difficult times with grace and forgiveness.
She’s never too hard on herself but pushes through distractions and negativity and comes out the other side stronger, smarter and better.
I’m sure you have a picture of a person in your head but what I’m really trying to do is get you to envision yourself as this girl. Because that’s exactly who you are, you just haven’t realized it yet.
Don’t worry, though. I’m here to guide you.
Confidence can be learned.
Confidence is one of the most essential traits for any successful person to possess. But, what if I told you that confidence isn’t really a trait at all, rather a daily habit.
I know, mind blowing!
So instead of waiting impatiently for the day the universe decides to give you the confidence to ask for that promotion or kiss your crush you can CHOOSE to already have it.
Making your dreams come true and true faith in yourself could now happen in a matter of weeks thanks to a few tweaks to your already perfect self.
As with any other habit in order for it to be effective and stick you need to put the work in everyday. Showing up for yourself in this way can improve your life drastically and open doors you never even saw before.
With that being said let’s get into 10 Ways to Level Up Your Confidence
Showing up and being consistent.
Being an active participant in your personal life and really putting in an effort will have major pay offs, not just in your relationships but also in your career, passions and projects. Make sure to follow through with plans and practice being more transparent with loved ones.
Get familiar with failure.
Confident people don’t take failure personally. They choose to see failure as a learning lesson. Developing a thick skin for when things don’t go your way can help you bounce back when you’ve stumbled. Just keep crushing it!
Review your body language and what it says about you. Do you stand tall with your head held high or cower and make yourself physically inferior to others. Can you stand to make eye contact when speaking to someone? Are you an active listener or stuck in your head? Changing the way you present yourself will boost your confidence as well as make others perceive you as more confident.
Take notes and track your progress.
Brainstorm, list your wins and note your realizations. Acknowledging your accomplishments, big or small can build up your confidence in yourself over time. Track your progress by keeping a journal and dedicate it to your goals and progress.
Record every win and set back, all your thoughts and ideas, processes and systems. Having this to look back on will improve your confidence because you will be able to actually see the mountains you are moving in your life.
Community over competition.
Confident people pay no mind to others’ opinions. They share their secrets and success with others and want to see their friends succeed as much as themselves. Keep watering your grass and don’t be concerned if others’ is greener.
Set goals and challenge yourself.
Challenge yourself. Learn a new skill, go back to school, quit your job and start a business. Take yourself out of your box and expand your possibilities through challenges. Confident people are go getters with goals so set some SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) for yourself today!
Fake it until you make it.
If the above tips aren’t working for you just do what I did for a long time. Wake up every day and pretend to be a confident person. Just do the thing you need to do to get you closer to your goals. Even if you feel silly on the inside make your outward appearance radiate confidence in all you do. Eventually it’ll just stick and you won’t even have to try.
Discard your negative bias and shift your mindset.
Do you feel limited? Overwhelmed, hopeless, dumb, unmotivated etc? These negative thoughts are a result of life experiences you have gone through and past pain not dealt with. How you choose to process and act on these negative life experiences makes up your overall state, or mindset.
Once you let go of your negative bias you can begin to shift your mindset into that of a growth one. Instead of believing you are not good enough and playing that thought on repeat think of all the amazing qualities you possess.
Affirmations can energize, and awaken lifelong desires and improve your relationships and even health. Some good ones to recite are:
I am confident in my abilities
I am talented and intelligent
I am free of worry and regret
I look forward to the future
Only I can do what I can do
Everyday I am growing and learning
Being free to be unapologetically yourself is the BIGGEST confidence habit out there. Releasing your fear and the pressure to please people will unlock the type of confidence that builds empires and changes lives.
A friendly reminder
Confidence ebbs and flows like any other energy. If you wake up one day feeling unconfident and unmotivated don’t let that tear down all the work you put in. This is a reminder that you are only human and not every day are you going to feel like a boss.
Confidence is a journey and not a destination but worthwhile in the end. You have the power and the ability to do what is necessary to live your best life!
How do you prepare for a new week? I have found my week starts off with some expectancy and preparedness if I take the temperature on some key areas of my life over the weekend.
The four areas that I focus on are: This Week, To Do, Where’s My $ At? and Goal Check. Let me break that down a bit. Oh and those cute stencils on the page above? Amazon, of course, and only $10!
This section gives me a chance to forecast for the week ahead. I don’t get too complicated with the layout, sometimes it’s vertical and sometimes it’s horizontal. What counts is the moment to think about what events, appts, due dates and etc. are scheduled for the days ahead.
I’m a to do list kind of girl. I like checking boxes, and I like tracking progress. This section is a place to set some short term goals/tasks that will help me, my family or my professional development.
Where’s My $ At?
Honestly, much like keeping a food diary, tracking my spending has been a huge eye opener. I’ve been jotting down where each of my accounts are at, as often as I can. (Weekly, these days, although it started as a monthly task)
I’ve challenged myself to write down every spend this year. Somehow, knowing that I will have to write that Skip the Dishes lunch in my Expense Tracker helps me not hit that purchase button.
In an effort to trick myself/reward myself for putting in efforts toward my goals… this section is where I am setting a few short term goals that will help me gain ground on some of my bigger goals.
I’ve also set some tantalizing little rewards here now. If I move every day for 1/2 an hour, I get to buy that blouse of Depop. If I complete (3) Headway books, I can order that Laneige lip mask I have been eyeing up.
Just like that, I’ve checked in on my finances, my goals, my schedule and any tasks that need attention this week. It’s a simple one pager that makes me feel prepared for the upcoming 7 days.
What would you add to the page? Do you like this set up?
Bell Let’s Talk Day is coming up Jan. 28th 2021. This article, written for my previous blog, outlines tools I use to calm and manage my anxiety symptoms. Maybe they will help you too.
On Bell Let’s Talk Day Bell will donate 5 cents towards mental health initiatives in Canada for every applicable text, call, tweet or TikTok video using #BellLetsTalk, as well as using the Snapchat filter and or Facebook frame.
Suddenly, you can’t catch your breath. It’s a very real squeezing of your rib cage. Alarmed, you feel your heartbeat rise. Your senses are on overdrive, trying to unearth the cause of this sudden fear. You’re dizzy with adrenaline. Sick with it. Like a terrible dream, the world continues around you in slow motion.
My experience with panic attacks.
August is the month I experienced panic attacks for the first time. Years ago now but the feeling is still so fresh. I was. Terrified. Terrified doesn’t even describe it. Terrified and exhausted. Heightened in awareness and numb.
And with the world on the edge of its seat, watching COVID, I’ve been stockpiling my toolbox. My anxiety toolbox.
I wanted to share some things that work for me. I also want to note that this post is in no way, a replacement for speaking with your doctor and or a psychologist professional. Panic attacks and panic disorder are treatable, and once I was able to recognize the way my body red flags for a panic attack, the better I got at heading them off.
Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. I’ve learned that taking care of myself is imperative to consistently show up. So. On with the tools I use, shall we?
Tools I Use:
Simple Habit is an app I use almost daily. It’s free, with a premium option, with a large selection of guided meditations available on the free version.
I focus on staying present, and pausing to breath. My favourite guided meditation is a three step: relax the body, focus on the breath and listen to the sounds around you. There’s also Insight Timer, a similar app with similar features!
Speaking to a Professional
I meet with my psychologist monthly. It’s been a long relationship, and I am grateful for it. If you live in the province of Manitoba, there is currently a Virtual Therapy Program being offered.
You do not need to be referred by a doctor to use AbiltiCBT. You will be able to connect to a professional therapist trained to help you deal with: Pandemic challenges, the state of uncertainty, physical isolation, care for family and community members, information overload, stress management.https://www.gov.mb.ca/covid19/bewell/virtualtherapy.html
Although this program is for residents of Manitoba 16 and older, Kids Help Phone is available for those under 16, and Anxiety Canada is full to the brim with resources, information and finding help for those outside of MB.
Your people. The ones you can fart in front of – or at least, be real with. You know the ones? Go to them. Be vulnerable with them. Let them step up for you, and with a grateful heart – accept the help. It’s easier said than done, but I feel like my relationship with my true blue friends, my partner, and my family has grown stronger because of this.
Remember, your news feeds, social feeds and notifications are curated by you. Prune the list sometimes, and be aware of what you’re putting in the ol’ mind. Turn off news notifications if you need. Hell, turn them all off. I’ve been consciously trying to complete my morning journal even before I pick up my phone in the morning. A habit I would like to build, and I feel like not consuming social media notifications, news updates and other various pings – starts me off in a better frame of mind.
Do you have go to tools for managing anxiety? Please leave them in the comments below! Thank you for reading – take good care!
Today’s share is meant to be a pretty little escape, and inspire you to light a candle, run a bath and put a face mask on.
While my self care here, reflects a light and top layer level of beauty routines and serene moments in a bathtub – I recognize the importance of true self care.
The self development, growth and self awareness that is so valuable, especially in today’s day and age. What isn’t immediately talked about here, but isn’t closed for future discussion, is my journey with PTSD, seeing a therapist for many years, learning about my anxiety and depression, and finding tools to deal with both. As said, I want this forum to be an honest place for discussion, and will likely share my experiences and acquired tools in future posts.
Today’s share is meant to be a pretty little escape, and inspire you to light a candle, run a bath and put a face mask on. If that’s not your jam, I wish you a blissful moment of your own kind of self care. The activity or surroundings that make you take a real deep breath, and smile to yourself.
Working from home means that my desk is a hub for daily activity. I’ve begun doing my Five Minute Journal here with my first cup of coffee, as I wait for my computer to wake up.
Have you heard of such a journal? It’s become a key part of my morning routine, allowing me to start my day with mindful gratitude and intention. Check them out at Intelligent Change.
A couple years ago, I set up my work desk according to feng-shui recommendations. The results were calming. Everything seemed to just settle into place. The above plant is at home in the abundance corner of my at the office desk. She’s so pretty, don’t you think?
The home office is in a constant state of change. A couple months of home school for the kiddos, and balancing two professionals working from home presented challenges. We have all happily settled into one room (if you can believe it) and the recent set up has a lovely little plant stand to my left. The unit is perfect height for my happy lamp – something that my friends enduring Canadian Winters can understand, I am sure!
So, what’s on your desk? Tell me in the comments below, your favourite/indispensable desk features!